She & He: The Worst Date Ever

     She settled in the seat at the dining room table, watching her Mom consume the dinner of salmon patties and sauteed vegetables she had just prepared, resulting in the condo they shared smelling like flatulence and dog meat.  She sighed, propping her chin in her hands.  Mom looked up at her, worry creasing her forehead.
     "What's wrong?  Aren't you excited to be going out on a date with your husband?"
     The truth was, She had been looking forward to spending some time with him - just the two of them, but they'd just gotten into yet another fight, leaving things so tense and awkward that She didn't even want to be in the bedroom with him while He was getting ready.
     Their fights had become more and more frequent since they moved into her Mom's condo nearly seven months ago to cut back on their bills in order to pay off the large amount of debt they were in.  Debt they were in mostly because of him, though She worked really hard to not throw that fact in his face.  She could tell He was going stir-crazy, but what else could they do?  If they moved out, there was no way they'd ever be free of their endless bills.
     "Yeah, I'm just tired, I guess," She mumbled, realizing her Mom was waiting for an answer.
     Before her Mom could reply, He walked out of the bedroom they shared, closing the door firmly behind him.
     "Are you ready?" He asked.  Without waiting for an answer, He proceeded to the front door, then plopped on the couch to put on his shoes.
     "Bye Mom; we'll see you later."  She pulled herself up from the table slowly, though all She wanted to do was retreat to her room and curl up under the covers with a good book.
     The drive to the restaurant was quiet.  He drove, at her request, so one of his hands was occupied with the steering wheel while the other was firmly clamped around his vape stick, leaving no hand to hold hers.  She wondered if it was on purpose.
     There had been so many times since they got married when She seriously considered separating from him or tried to visualize what it would be like to divorce him.  She recalled a conversation She'd had with two of her married friends the day before.  They had just left the tea room they'd eaten lunch in when their conversation turned toward their husbands as they headed to the parking lot.
     "You know, I always wondered why my mom never remarried after she got divorced," She had ruminated to her friends, "but now I understand.  Marriage is a lot of work, and it can really get lonely at times.  Sometimes, I'm not even sure the pros outweigh the cons.  If something happened to my husband, I would probably never remarry."  She felt scandalous and guilty for saying so, but her two friends echoed her sentiments almost immediately.
     She sighed.  She'd read numerous romance novels (Christian and secular) in her lifetime, and they all glorified the relationship between a man and a woman.  The truth was, She was now able to understand the compulsion in women to discard the male species altogether and pursue relationships with other women.  Women who would understand on a deep level what their partner was talking about.  Women who had much in common.
     The common interests and similarities She'd thought they shared had shrunk to a paltry handful.  Their love of music, their love of Christ - did He even love Christ, though?  Or was his church attendance and ministry involvement simply a habitual obligation he'd participated in since childhood?
     She could still remember her Best Friend and maid of honor offering what no one else had right before their wedding day - "If you decide you don't want to marry him, it's not too late.  I will be waiting with a getaway car and no questions asked."  Of course, She had scoffed at the offer and assured her Best Friend that it wouldn't be necessary.  She was so sure he was "The One" - where had that certainty gone?
     They arrived at the restaurant, if you could call it that.  It didn't have a drive-through, but it didn't have a waitress or waiter waiting to take your order, so it was an in-between kind of place.  They both stood in line to place their order.  No words were exchanged between the two of them.  She tried to think of things to say, but She worried about what his responses would be, and She didn't want his sour mood to be directed at her.  Even though She felt like it already was.
     By the time they sat down with their food, She was ready to leave.  "How was work today?"  She tried to act like they hadn't just co-existed in a bubble of silence for the past 30 minutes.
     "Long."  His usual short answer.
     "How many cars did you work on?"  She didn't really care about the answer.  She just wanted to get him talking.  But He could tell that She wasn't really interested, so He down-played his interest as well.
     "One."
     "The whole time you were there?"
     "Yeah.  I had a lot to catch up on."
     And that was that.  They sat chewing and looking around at everyone but each other.  He started to do something on his phone, and She wished, once again, that smart phones had never been invented.  Or smart TV's.  What would He do if, tonight, she unplugged their widescreen TV and removed it from their bedroom?  Would He actually talk to her until they both fell asleep?  Would He shower her with kisses and entreat her to do things with him that married couples are supposed to do?
     He put his phone down, looking up, and She held her breath, hoping He would say something.  He didn't.
     "How's your food?"  That was her, attempting conversation from a different angle.
     "Cold."  Of course it would be - what else could She expect him to say?
     She picked at her salad, wishing She had gotten something more fattening.  She'd dropped 40 pounds in the last 6 months, and at first, He'd paid more attention to her body and increased his endearments, but that had slowed to almost a crawl.  He'd become self-involved again.
     She sighed.  She knew their marriage wasn't built on Christ, and that's where all their problems stemmed from.  She knew that She could only control her actions and her thoughts and her words.  The problem was, She was a habitual sinner.  She was lazy.  She was sensitive.  She wanted it to be easy - their marriage.  She wanted him to bring her flowers without her having to ask.  She wanted him to ravish her when He walked through the door after a long day of work.  She wanted to go to the movies, sit in the back, and make out like a gross love-struck teen couple.  She wanted romance.  She wanted a living, breathing relationship, not a stuffy vacuum of one-word conversations.
     Could she ever have children with this man?  Would time bring intimacy or more distance?  Was He really the one God made for her, and she just wasn't being a good steward of the blessing?  Or did God have another in mind, and was She now living in God's permissible Will because of her impatience in waiting?
     So many questions, and She was so far from knowing any answers.  Her appetite was gone.  She looked at his plate.  He was done eating as well.
     "You ready to go?" She asked.
     "Whenever you are."
     She stood, walked her tray to the garbage can by the door.  He went to refill his soda in the back.  When they were done, they walked to the car in silence.  He finally reached for her hand, but it was hard for her to smile at him when his eyes searched hers.  She knew He would ask questions She didn't want to answer if She didn't smile.
     They finally arrived back at the condo.  He went to get something out of his car, and She walked in to find her Mom doing a crossword puzzle in her usual spot on the couch.
     "How was your date?" she asked.
     "Honestly, it was probably the worst date ever."
     Her Mom frowned, and She could tell that she was trying to think of some words to make it better.
     "I'm tired though, so I'm going to bed.  See you tomorrow."
     She brushed her teeth, put on her pajamas, and climbed in bed.  He returned from his car, changed clothes, and immediately turned on the TV to watch his favorite show - his nightly ritual.  She rolled over to him, putting her head on his chest and intertwining their legs for a minute.  Then, when she got hot, She rolled away from him, curling into a loose ball - her nightly ritual.  Then, she turned out the light and went to sleep.