Friday, November 4, 2016

Notes Between Simba & Geezer (Circa 2003)

Geezer and Simba had Spanish together in 2003, and it solidified their friendship.  To follow are some notes written between the two of them:

S: Turn in your Bible to Colossians 3:1-17
G: That was really encouraging :)
S: I know; I was trying to find a verse that the Pastor had read on Sun. (like chpt. 2 or something), and I saw this...you don't know how much I needed this then - and still do.  I couldn't pick a fave verse if I tried.  I do like 15-17 though :)
G: LOL.  I know how that goes.  Now, turn you Bible to Ephesians 3:14-21.  My two faves are 18 & 19.  19 being my life verse. (hint "Eph319Agape" lol
S: Amen!  Now THAT'S encouraging! :)
G: Read 1 Corinthians 9:19-24; Philippians 1:9-11; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.


Notes Between RR & Me (Circa 2005)

My friend RR and I had English together in 11th Grade.  To follow are a series of notes we wrote to each other.  With the amount of notes I found, I'm surprised we learned anything in that class.  Seriously. lol

Me: Talk to me (actually, write ;)
RR; About what?
Me: About what's going on with you and stuff...or...just anything.
RR: It just really bugs me how everyone seems to have a boyfriend.  Or potential b/f.  I don't know why...but I really want a boyfriend :( :)  Oh...and I don't feel good.  My stomach REALLY HURTS!!!
Me: I'm sorry - I want to say I don't have a potential b/f, but I know you'll just say, "What about G & Joe Bob?"  Well, G is a "jerk," b/c he doesn't ever talk to me.  And to Joe Bob, I'm just somebody he wants to know better as a friend; I can tell that he doesn't like me as more than that. Plus, I get the leftovers from Carla & Emily.  But whatever.  lol  Sorry - I'm not doing a very good job at cheering you up, am I?  What are you doing Saturday?
RR: I don't know.  Unless K calls me :)  Doubt it :(
Me: Well, you know, wanna do something? (if, you know, you want to :)
RR: Well, you know, I might have plans...
Me: Fine, I'll just do something with Joe Bob :/  Do you think I'm leading him on?
RR: No.  You're not leading him on.
Me: Well, I feel like I am.  Or maybe I feel guilty, because I haven't told G about J.B.
RR: He doesn't need to know until something happens w/ you and J.B.  I want to know how K feels about me.  Do you think I should talk to his best friend about it?
Me: What?!  You mean you haven't yet?!  RR!!
RR: No.  I don't want him to know how I feel about him...but I want to know how he feels about me... :(
Me: Well do you think his friend would tell him?  How close are you as friends?
RR: I feel like I can talk to him about anything!  (except maybe for his best friend)
Me: Why not?
RR: I don't know!  Cuz it's K...
Me: ...and?  RR, how much do you like this kid?
RR: This much!
Me: That means noting to me - J.B. said he liked me that much.  YOU WOULD!!
RR: I KNOW!

****

Me: So yeah, I'm going to have a "talk" with G today.
RR: About what?
Me: About us possibly not pursuing our relationship any further than just being friends :(
RR: Good.  What made you come to that conclusion?
Me: Many things.  A) He's at the age now where he's looking for a future wife, and he'd have to wait about 6 years for me.  That's one among many.
RR: Yeah...so...Rob has really small hands, and you know what that means!  Anyway, good decision, I agree.  Are you still gonna meet him?
Me: I don't know, because I think that if I meet him, it might encourage us both in the wrong direction again.
RR: Oh, ok, sounds good...so "My Boyfriend's Back"
Me: Or, you know, mine's never coming... ;) lol
RR: I'm in that boat with you :)
Me: Hey, but flirting's fun, and we don't need a steady man at this age, ya know?
RR: But I want one!  And when the guy you want to flirt with you does, and then his ex-gf gets made, and so he'll be in a bad mood this afternoon, instead of flirting with you; not a fun situation :( :/ :)
Me: So pick another guy to flirt with :) (man, am I being a shallow dingbat today or what? :(
RR: I can't just pick another guy, he has to pick me...who do you think should be my boyfriend?
Me: Why don't I give you G?
RR: I don't want G...if there was one person in this room who could be my b/f, who would it be?
Me: Brett
RR: Awww...I think he's interested in either Katie Beth or Lori :( Sad day, guess again.  Let me rephrase that - who (in this room) do you think would want to be my b/f?
Me: Umm...Garrett?
RR: Maybe.
Me: Alex?! I don't know! What are you trying to say you mad, crazy fool?!
RR: Start naming some people who LIKE me!!! I want a b/f! Argh!  I don't like either of them, but Alex does have a very nice car...but he's not a Christian. :( Sad day.  How about the same question but doesn't have to be in this room.  How about the band/chorus building people.
Me: Chorus - A (mostly likely); Band - A (haha!)
RR: Ok...let's try same question band people...
Me: I don't like this game...no LOSERBOY if that's what you're trying to get at.
RR: Then find me someone who is better :/
Me: God knows your wants, RR, but He provides for Your needs...if it's His will for You to get a b/f then He'll get you one...until then, pray, wait, and...have fun being 16! (or, you know, almost 16 ;)
RR: Easier said than done, but I'll try.

***

Me: What's your problem?
RR: I have a predicament.
Me: As do I. This stinks. Actually, I have two :(
RR: Well, it involves two other people besides myself. It has to do w/ two people we see almost every morning in Mr. Theilen's class.
Me: Oh...how does this involve you?  Can I call you at about 3:30?  That's what time I get home.
RR: I'm busy until prob about 4...call me then.
Me: Ok I will!  Man, I wish I could talk to you about this in person though, because you're cooler in person.
RR: I know!

***

Me: So while I was walking to class today...(u want the funny story or what?)  So today while I was walking to class...I saw the naughty news guy, and he was just looking our the window of a class...quite random was it.  Garrett is Hilarious!!
RR: Was that what you had to tell me?  Sucky story :( but yes, random and funny :) and yes, he is very funny.
Me: Of course it's not the story...jeez...what kind of LOSER would I be if THAT was the story?
RR: I don't know...tell me the story please.
Me: Uh huh...well, ya see - so after lunch I walked with Peter, Andrew, and J.W. to class; then Peter and Andrew left and it was just J.W. and me...
RR: Oh yeah?  And?  I walked with loser boy today and...ok bye!

***

RR; Hey!  What are you going to do right now?  I'm going to start on vocab so I can go to sleep early tonight :)
Me: Haha I'm gonna finish my journal and start on my vocab. :) I'm thirsty...I like a boy!  teeheehee!
RR: Haha...umm, I don't know what's up with loser boy, but it needs to stop right now...and Nick is acting weird too. Adrian almost killed me last night...that boy is crazy :)
Me: Nice lol I think loser boy's sad and lonely and trying to hide it. I think he misses how things were and doesn't quite know how to adjust to the new situation...so he's not trying to at all. And I don't know about Nick, and yes, Adrian is crazy.  haha...yes he is ;)
RR: Yes indeed.  You are probably right.  I talked to loser boy about the Matt thing.  And after about an hour of arguing, we came to the conclusion that what loser boy doesn't know won't hurt him.  So that I should keep doing what I'm doing with Matt but not tell loser boy...and I think I have given up hope on Nick.  He doesn't seem to care, and I don't like being let down, so I am going to try not to care from here on out...yes?...no?
Me: Nick seems like a sweet enough guy, but if he's not sweet on you, then he's not worth it.  You're a sweet heart and a half, and any guy would be durn lucky to have a girl like you!!! Oh, and I talked to loser boy about Adrian and he said he's semi-jealous...do you think he's maybe jealous of you & Matt? As being friends?
RR: Yes. Loser boy has told me that he is jealous of me and Matt...but that he doesn't see how I can be friends with the enemy. He feels that by being friendly with Matt, I am stabbing him in the back. Me: Yup, so I've heard. I'm writing in my journal about A-bear :)

***

Me: Why do guys have to be so cute?
RR: I don't know...What made you think of that?
Me: Well, J.W. kid is soooo hott! And btw, I don't like Adam.
RR: Oh, ok...good.  So what's up?
Me: Haha! You know, I feel like I'm almost desecrating this book by underlining stuff, but I underline stuff in my Bible all the time and don't...isn't that super weird? God bless you!
RR; Yup. You too. Notes are fun...elipses...elipses...ooh - aah! I'm a dork.
Me: Ya ya are...GREEK TRAGEDY...Garrett's so fun!
RR: I know!
Me: Do you know...(meant to write "now" there...it's now w/ a silent "k" ;)
RR: So, my throat hurts really bad...
Me: So do my eyes...haha
RR: Oh, ok. I want to go home. I really, really REALLY want a b/f :( :(
Me: Me too.
RR: We should do something about it...
Me: Nope. I'm okay.  Chocolate tastes better when it's given to you than when you buy it yourself.
RR: Hmm...I don't know. Church is good!
Me: Yeah it is. You need to seriously keep inviting "him" to yours :)
RR: Yeah, except for mine sucks!
Me: Shoot girl, no it don't.  After all, Randall goes there.
RR: For church, cuz his parents make him.  He goes to youth group at First Pres.
Me: Oh man, he only goes b/c his parents force him to? That's sad :(
RR: It's not that he doesn't want to go to church, he doesn't like our church. I don't really like it either, but I feel like I can't abandon it.  He wants to go to church, so he goes to First Pres.  So, it's all good!
Me: Ok, w/e you say chick :) You know what?  I love Jesus like nobody's business! :)

Letter to God (5.20.2004)

My dearest and most darling love,
I'm feeling somewhat confused right now, and I have a whole hour to tell you about it!  I haven't talked to you in so long and I'm so sorry.  My mission's trip stuff needs to be finished and I still have 15 verses to memorize and pass before I can leave!  Lord, help me to get all these things done, and please do them with me.
Anyway, so about my confusion.  My relationships are all willy-nilly right now.  In first place (guy-wise) is Evan, then Grant, then Peter (and don't forget how I'm disrespecting Will).  My roller coaster of emotions for them is going crazy and I don't know what to do.  Please be with me Lord, and may Your will be done in my life.  I know one day I will be hurt by love, and one day I will be immeasurably blessed by it...please just help me to remember that, and help me to grow more in You and with You until I even attempt to look at a member of the opposite sex...
And that's another thing - the way I look at/view guys.  I'm basically lusting after their flesh and disrespecting them when I flirt with them or try to act in any way that's not a "friend" way to them.  I know I hate it when a guy looks at me that way, so please Lord, just help me to keep my eye on the Creator, not His creations.
"Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee - prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the One I love.  Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above."
Amen!
Also Lord, my friendships with Hannah and Tara and Kelly and Carla and Laura and Darcie and Jordan...Lord, so many times I let the world get in the way, but I don't want it to.  I want my friendships to be pure and godly, and one You are a part of.
Lord, I'm crying out!  Give me integrity, Lord.  Help me to do what You want me to do, even when I'm alone, even when my mom's not there to yell at me, even when You're not drawn near.  Don't let me be guided by emotions, but by my love for You and by my passion to see You glorified in all I do!
I love You so much!

So many times, I'm blinded by pain,
Hurt by the thorns of the world; it's insane;
I struggle, I cry, I scream out in agony,
Forgetting that Your arms are stretched out to catch me,
But You're still there,
E'en though I fight,
Though I try and run
From Your beautiful light.
My tears, they fall,
It hurts so bad,
But Your love covers more
Than all this pain that I've had...
From the world.
Days pass me by, I close my ears to You,
Gently and quietly, You speak Your words of truth;
I toss and I turn, refusing to listen,
But you hold me still, love me, and then -
You are here, even though I still fight,
Though I tried to run from Your beautiful light,
Your blood, it falls, blotting out my pain,
Because Your love covers me like a baptising rain.
I love you, Lord. 

Internet Dating - A Cautionary Tale (Circa 2003)

This is a note between me and a friend during high school.

Me: Good morning beautiful!  I don't think I asked you yesterday, but how was your vacation?

JR: It was good; really good.  :)  I was really glad to see Collin!  How about you?  How was yours?

Me: Well, Monday & Tuesday were spent talking to G :)  and Wed.-Sat. I hung out with friends.  It was awesome!

JR: Hold on now - who is G?

Me:  ....a guy ;)

JR: A guy who is?  That tells me nothing.

Me: Ok well, he lives in GA and I really like him and...he's so sweet!  (ask KW, I'm for real!)

JR: How do you know this guy?

Me: I kind of met him...in a chat room.  DON'T YELL AT ME!  He's for real.  I might have...written him a letter.  :/

Why not?  Yell at me (in the note of course), but don't ignore me. :(  I didn't get mad at you a/b TEQUILA BOY.

JR: That was different, you don't know who this guy really is.  It could be any weird freak from B.F.E. and anything could happen, now that he has your address.

Me: But so what?  I have his address and I trust him.  We've been talking ever since May and I didn't give him my address right away.

JR: That doesn't matter because every day girls die from crap like this!  They think talking for awhile is enough to say you know him and then give him some hope after awhile.  The next thing you know, they are in a ditch dead w/ their families and friends worried to death.

Me: So what do you think I'm going to do?  Meet him somewhere alone?  No; I'm not going to let myself be alone w/ him.  And my friend has met his brother before and his sister used to come here, so it's not like noone knows him.

JR: Whatever.  You do whatever you want.  But I don't want to talk about it.


That was the end of that conversation.  I did end up meeting "G" in person (he came to my sister's house for a meal one time), and it went horribly.  Thankfully, he wasn't catfish-ing or creeping on me, but he was just horribly awkward.  The end.

Graveyard Love Affair - Circa 2000

Her hair blew round her face,
Making a veil of gray.
She placed a single rose on the grave before her,
As a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Shrouded in the morning mist,
A drop of dew gently kissed her forehead,
Reminding her of the love that had fatally
Departed from her life so long ago.

Dead leaves fluttered beneath her feet,
A perfect and ironic representation
Of the events in her life leading up to the present.

Fingers as cold as Death himself traced
A path across the unpolished remains
Placed amidst ghostly tombstones
That were erected sorrowfully by mourning relatives
Of those who lived long ago.

As another pearl of grief seared her porcelain skin,
Like acid rain on a sunny day,
She bade her lost love farewell for the final time
On Earth, until she would see him again
On the golden streets of Heaven.